8.8.2026 been a few days without service. resurfacing. i snuck into a concert. wished someone would talk to me. its been days since i last had a conversation. i meet strangers at the most random of times, but not when i most want it. my sister keeps calling to complain. not the one i wrote about last time. or the other. but the other other. my mother was in the hospital. during a rare spot of service on a hike - amidst the complaints - she asked if anyone had told me. then went back to complaining. service dropped. this morning i laughed over coffee and toast and wondered if id emerge from the wilderness and my mother would be dead. she lives. ________________________________________ 8.5.2026 the number of spaces left for folks to be free are dwindling. why is it illegal to sleep in your car? i dreamt up the speech i would give at my sister's wedding while i hiked around the tower. not the one getting married this fall, not the one im currently driving across the country for. the one who is single and luckily left behind her religion-fueled passion for being a teen bride. i wish i had it in me to think of anything nice to say for this upcoming wedding. 'sorry i staged 3 interventions and tried to talk you out of it, i still think you are ruining your life but im here to support you?' its easier to imagine my littlest sister finding love in someone good than imagining how to spin this disaster into a funny speech. i wasnt asked to give a speech. i wasnt asked to be in the wedding. i thought id be uninvited. i was counting on being uninvited. 30 days left for you to change your mind. ________________________________________ why does living in my car sound so terrible if its been the best 6wks5days of my life? met a stranger gave me 43hr13min playlist made terrible ramen unfair exchange ________________________________________ 8.4.2026 trying to make a list of things i should accomplish in the 24 days until i turn a yr older ________________________________________ \ left sf / in my car \still there / nowhere but my car