✸ 11.27.25 10:43pm #7e4939 #bb694f #8f5d1c One rainstorm made most of the trees shiver off their remaining leaves. Brain-fog and some materialization of respiratory illness make me shiver too. Most manner of interests elude me for the time being, much to do with feeling overextended across most parts of my life. I feel my usual vague and metaphoric eloquence eludes me right now too. My brain is hungry, my hands want to work on something, my mind is turning and yet the little guys that make up my me are screaming for true rest. The retrograde is coming to a close. I must sleep, I think. Necessary torpor. Grateful for the constant flowers... Grateful, despite it all. and if its not too forward, @teff I enjoy the way you write your posts. _________________________________________ ✸ 11.22.25 6:36pm #636162 #9c9791 #484745 #575757 The day rolled in slow and heavy, sleepy. Any light I saw today was dim, diffused, shrouded in low clouds. Humidity was hanging in the air like it does in early spring. The cool damp air and warm dewiness that contrasts it stuck to me on my lazy journey for groceries. I can't stop humming certain songs, they keep the flowers in me. Soon, the retrograde will be over. God I have been so careful. _________________________________________ ✸ 11.20.25 5:17am #ffa23d #45cdff #dc7dbf #e2d857 The universe has kept telling me the only way out is through. I'll internalize it someday. For now, its the deep lesson of experience. What wasn't told to me was that on the other side rested an endless, heedless field of flowers. Finally I can rest my head in all the blooms. _________________________________________ ✸ 11.16.25 9:37pm Broken open by the sublime once more. A pie crust stomped on. Raw, tender, soft, juicy, warm, vulnerable, furry, fuzzy. My polyfil strewn around because of it... The trill followed me today, all day. All day. I pray I can make anything half as good. _________________________________________ ✸ 11.15.25 12:56pm #b6c3cb #9ebd72 #cd9838 Tiredness in body and mind hover over my skull. The presence isn't unpleasant. We exchange a knowing glance. The right language came up to continue writing, despite my looming acquaintance but for now I must go out- my bones have to move, my skin has to breathe. Feeling quiet today, but knee deep in flowers. There's so many. All the time. - - - - - 7:20pm #f3acb0 #938c71 #764347 #bec29d The afternoon was rich with decay. There's a hurried pace of the local fauna. Insects are fewer, quieter. Creeping, leaching molds and fungus are taking over, thriving on the damp detritus and dappling the muted tones of the forest with bright flecks of beige, mint green and white. Moss will soon be the brightest visage among the dormant wood. A decadent feast will punctuate my lavish evening. #c94343 _________________________________________ ✸ 11.13.25 5:25am #545547 #ec9443 #807c79 #ddff00 Even my more usual haunts have been left waiting, lately. Though slightly more infrequent, my ✶✶ finds after a brief fit of craving Touch Screen are a boon to my collections. I enjoy, fondly, the fact that even if I don't update this daily, if ✶✶ isn't opened as much, they're still there and will move at my pace; I'm finding myself dipping my feet into the gestalt of the internet less and less. My life is quieter because of it. Its good. My brain is constantly churning, too. Ideas of headworlds, concepts, writing, advice, opinions, hungering for the written word- its shoving my hand into a bucket of eels! A writhing life that has been suppressed by the deafening glow of social media returns to me. Bliss. My body aches, my work is hard on me, I'm behind on things and trying to get caught up, I'm anxious, yet I'm better than I've ever been. - - - - - 3:45pm This afternoon, the sun on my face feels like love. _________________________________________ ✸ 11.11.25 6:57am #c9baa6 #69823f #f3332c #d1cdcb #6b4328 Roots are sunken in a little deeper- less stuck but more secure, less stubborn rather more sturdy. My paws are tired, eyes even more-so. The hushed gravity of Mercury has pressed his mighty palm onto me, a lapidary tending to my scarcely hewn edges. Echoes of past lives escape the crevices and dredge up embedded thorns, but ultimately (thankfully) dissolved into the sonic embrace of a familiar, comfortable, safe aural feast. I will rest easy tonight. _________________________________________ ✸ 11.7.25 5:02am #cbaf87 #915773 #7a3737 Tender compassion has been lapping at the shoreline– being pushed into the surf as it bloomed in me, swelling and churning under the surface. There is a lot of hurt in the world but the hurt that affected me most was by peers, ex-partners, old friends, family. But, this vulnerable and delicate compassion has humbled me. I feel small. I cried. How freeing it is. How lucky I am, over and over again, to feel it guide me gently. How grateful I am to get my paws wet. I forgive you. Almost all of you. Almost. You're hard to let go, in the worst way. But I am lighter. I will play in the warm waters. Joy will dance in my paws. Love will flow in my heart. - - - - - 5:36pm Contamination OCD is a difficult beast sometimes. I wash my hands again. Again. _________________________________________ ✸ 11.4.25 2:12pm #1b1e24 #c8d7e3 #060142 Thinking more the last few days about expressions of creativity through curation and I'm trying to figure out what that means, why I like it, what aspects about it are interesting to me. This ties in to several things I'm trying to currently do with little things in my life– I'm interested in honing in certain subject focuses in my traditional art, I want to downsize and curate (cultivate?) a more intentional space in my discord server, I want to be more intentional and selective in the things I share with my friends. There's other things I want to write more about too. I'm having fun thinking. I like when my brain churns like a washing machine. I think ✶✶ is a more permanent feature in my life for the time being. _________________________________________ ✸ 11.3.25 8:35pm #ffff08 FLOWERS. ALL THE WAY DOWN. EVERYTHING. EVERYWHERE. _________________________________________ ✸ 11.2.25 4:35pm #949abf #515259 #eaedff #dbddf0 Sleeping better, if not enough sometimes. That's okay. Flowers fall out of me, trailing behind where I wander; normally I'd be a bit tired this time of year. The world is brighter, more vivid I think. We had a lush year with a lot of snow and so much rain, the trees are lasting longer and more colorful because of it but there's other things that are affecting my perception of the world around me. So I'm still blooming. - - - - - 5:33pm Small bliss, a tiny break before continuing drawing with my art chunks. I don't know if anyone looks at this other than @vipers. I like not knowing. This is my own little puply space. _________________________________________ ✸ 11.1.25 7:14pm #d78d46 #b7c1ba #50423f #eed374 Ochre slime and mint lichens exchanged pleasantries in the chilly rot. Low sun sliced it's beams over the pennywort, through the silt, into the beech, the oak, the shag hickory. I sank into the soil, thinking of heaven. The water was clear. The earth wants to rest, so do I. So can I. - - - - - 1:37am #2a3789 New music shatters a creative wall. Let's do it. _________________________________________ ✸ 10.31.25 1:49am #dcc864 #dc7564 #e2a742 #9e4949 There's a particular deliberate action that needs to be done to properly use the touchpad on a MacBook, such as highlighting something or 'right clicking'. The familiar gestures left to touchpad+buttons on previous (Windows) laptops I lived on imprinted a muscle memory that is hard to kick. There's a weird mindfulness that comes with it. Man alive! I am loved. - - - - - 10:39pm Wanting. Beastful pangs for sinking teeth into skin, into fat, into muscle, into bone, into marrow, into cells, into molecules, into atoms. Endless, heedless pressure in my jaw; there is cataclysmic potential energy stored in the fibers sewn into my skull. _________________________________________ ✸ 10.30.25 5:11am #151819 #bf6f24 #ff8cdc #8fa496 #694d7e #85d1e4 #bd5151 I ache. I bloom. I bloom again. And again and again and again and again. - - - - - 3:09pm it’ll be so good. _________________________________________ ✸ 10.29.25 1:41am #ad4141 #d8c405 A couple colors have been oozing in my mind perpetually. Hungry, tired, but loved ones are chatting and their voices fill my bedroom. I feel... My god, I feel. - - - - - 2:56am Some ✶✶ and curry to close off my social evening. - - - - - 3:33am I take up so much space :3 - - - - - 5:07am I KNOW HOW TO MAKE BAJA BLAST _________________________________________ ✸ 10.28.25 4:15am #9cbecb Got off work late- the sky today was my favorite blue, despite being so overcast. I don't think I'll ever mention work on here anymore. Are.na is a site for sore eyes, @vipers says something funny, it rained so much today. I'll write my lines now. I'm a good boy. - - - - - 2:10pm #50514e slept phenomenal, wanna stay home. Wanna talk to my darlings all day instead _________________________________________ ✸ 10.27.25 3:38am #f0ff56 The internet is friendly again. I just had to look under some rocks. I'm online and smiling.