01/03/2025 – Listening to Talk Talk, Spirit of Eden (which I found on vinyl the other day) with a coffee in the kitchen. I have been ill the last week. Finally feeling human again. Watched a lot of crap , a lot of scrolling through reels and youtube. It almost feels like I have completed it now, that its pool of content has gotten smaller, more repeats, more ai generated pith. I'm almost at the point of seeing it for what it is again and stopping, annoyed that it feels like the default still, like it has a monopoly on my 'down-time'. Coming on here for example was a bit too much effort. I did start learning some Italian again, which felt like a drip of education in a whole cess-pit of content that week. I do have these moments of self-contrariness though and it makes sense to align these with when I am feeling sick. 30/01/2025 – Listening to Pam and Louise Chen NTS Breakfast show with a cup of Yorkshire tea in Bed. Slept for ten and a half hours last night, still have this twitch in my eye. There is this mode at the moment that I imagine used to be reserved for spring...the spring clean. The time frame of which has shifted to now. All my social spaces are prepping, cleaning, organising. Maybe its because people don't have a lot of work about now and we have all been reflecting on what we want this new year to be like. To me it feels like a lot of active work for winter, when I want to be taking things slowly and reading, writing, drawing. I do also have the urge to organise though. Now that the studio space is a mess I realise how much it effects my mood, need things to be back in their place. Now that I have seen the mess in those draws I know it's there, haunting me. Out of site out of mind is also a temporal phrase. 27/01/2025 Slow morning, have plans at midday so feel like I am killing time between then. The shower is taken so floating around before I get going. Had instagram back on my phone for a min to promote something for a friend. Deleted again this morning. The scrolling in these hazy morning moments is such a waste of that time and space and feeling. I heard a comedian saying (while talking about making coffee in a moka pot) that the key to life is just finding ways that you enjoy wasting time. This resonated with me and this feeling. Instagram is not a way I enjoy wasting time. But the feeling and sound of my pencil underlining a sentence in a book this morning is a way I enjoy wasting time. p.s the fact that said comedian thought that making your own coffee fell into this category of a time-wasting-luxury says a lot about his lifestyle. I used to hate it when my ex would say that having a nice breakfast or taking a nap was a luxury. 25/01/25 Thinking about Butter again. After watching Fallow's youtube video on making a butter emulsion which allows for butter to be taken to much higher temperatures before it splits. Made a small batch the other day and used it with a charred lettuce leaf. Just added a bit of garlic to the pan first and then in with the 5:2 butter:water emulsion. It immediately reduces and thickens up into the most luxurious silky sauce. Quite dangerous. Feel that I am going to eat a lot more butter now. Think of the possibilities. Adding marmite to this for some kind of butter marmite silky dream! The emulsion I made is now in the fridge and when I got home late last night I dripped it over some toast. I was thinking that it could be a good replacement for butter. It probably lasts longer (although that is not a problem with butter really) because it has been heated up to almost boiling. It is spreadable and you are probably using less butter. Need to do a taste test for this. –––––––––––– @werner I also like these things although not after a Hot Pot