TOPIC IDEAS FOR HAIKU

• A red trans-am with a white swan on the hood, otherwise a red-breasted bird
• Ryan Gosling's smile, a toothpick sticking out of a sly grin
• The orange-yellow glow of traffic tunnels at night, the fish at the bottom of the ocean that glow
• The sweat that comes from adventure
• The sugar crust around a maple syrup cap that makes it hard to open
• Still life with cucumbers and pickles
• Glow-in-the-dark rubber skeletons, a tree decorated with rubber witch fingers,
• A theme park reflected off somebody's eyes, rickety rides
• Corn dogs, an empty stage, whispers
• The sound of somebody outside your house at night screaming but when you look they aren't there
• Quinceañera dresses in a store window faded by the sun
• The sound of Journey playing on a car radio dorkly

Band Names For A Noise Project That Only Ever Plays One Show

• We're Always Together
• Bathed In Aftertaste
• Useless Tree
• Runner's Thigh
• Pain Gretzky
• Journey, Pt II
• Phlegmatic Giant
• Noasis
• Unobtrusive Thoughts
• Almost Over
• Sitcom Man
• Final Exam

Haiku with the word "Awooga"

• Snow falls, cheeks tingle, / Awooga! It's time for soup / Look, a hungry bird
• Cicadas sing loud / Awooga! No more twitter. / Content sighs softly
• Leaves burn, crows circle round, / Awooga! Stop all that smoke! / Kak-kak-kak-kak-kak!
• Sparrows look for worms / Awooga! Wiggle, wiggle / Look at them all slurp
• The light of a flame / Is mingling with my night light / Awooga! House fire!
• Write. Erase. Rewrite. / Erase again. Write again. / Awooga! It's spring,
• An old silent pond... / A frog jumps in the water— / Awooga! I'm wet!
• It's a dew drop world. / And yet, even though it is . . . / Awooga! Dew dries.
• The crow pecks the bone / The skeleton turns its head / and yells "Awooga!"
• People remember / the wise silence of Buddha/ not his "Awooga!"
• Call me "Awooga!" / As I cross the busy road / That is my spring name!
• Bad Hurricane names: / Walter, Mary, Teresa. / Why not Awooga?

Buddy Cop Duos that Shoulda Been

• Rainer Werner Fassbinder + Werner Herzog. (Werner & Werner)
• Jack Black + Michael Jackson
• Tom Cruise + John Travolta
• Isabelle Huppert + Willy (the Orca whale)

More Interesting Foods Joey Chestnut Can Eat Competitively

• Corn Dogs served way too hot, as they always are (maybe he eats the sticks?)
• Cotton Candy
• Everlasting Gobstoppers
• Butter sculptures of his own head
• Sonic ice
• Fruit by the Foot
• Pop Rocks
• Sunflower seeds (shelled)
• One impossibly long spaghetti noodle
• The Lost Boys feast from the movie “Hook”
• Oysters (but he has to do his own shucking)
• Other people’s hot dogs (and he isn’t allowed to just wait by a single hotdog cart)

Closed Captions That Could Be Band Names

• Heavy Breathing
• Slow, Ominous Music
• Rustling
• Loud Sobs
• Bones Crunching
• Hissing Smoke
• Productive cough

Compliment Sandwich Haiku

• They were really good. / But they need a bass player. / I loved their singer.
• Sweet, honest, and real . . . / But Woody Allen made it. / Lobsters make me laugh.
• Yes! Let's do nothing! / Oh, but that takes privilege. / But I do like parks!
• So many King books / But I don't want to read them. / The movies are fun.

Halloween Costume Ideas

• A magician who is haunted by his past.
• An elementary school teacher who is living a lie.
• A wealthy dog groomer.
• A troubled teen who has recently discovered a severed head hidden in their father's Playboy stash.
• A brilliant yet reluctant farmer.
• A high class stock broker who secretly lives for the return of the McRib.
• A google executive who still uses their old AOL email address.
• A rogue architect who refuses to design handicap accessible buildings.
• A kitten without a past.
• A puppy without a cause.
• You just finished writing your first novel.
• A person who was stuck in an elevator just this morning, forcing them to miss a very important meeting regarding the future of their children.

Skateboard Brand Names

• Parakeet Sheriff