Christmas

CHATGPT PROMPT: Write a script for a supernatural episode of Law & Order SVU with less than 25 words. The detectives enter. The room stills. All eyes are on their contrasting figures: Stabler's raw masculinity and Robo-Dracula's sleek power. ROBO-DRACULA Walnuts.

TOPIC IDEAS FOR HAIKU

  • A red trans-am with a white swan on the hood, otherwise a red-breasted bird
  • Ryan Gosling's smile, a toothpick sticking out of a sly grin
  • The orange-yellow glow of traffic tunnels at night, the fish at the bottom of the ocean that glow
  • The sweat that comes from adventure
  • The sugar crust around a maple syrup cap that makes it hard to open
  • Still life with cucumbers and pickles
  • Glow-in-the-dark rubber skeletons, a tree decorated with rubber witch fingers,
  • A theme park reflected off somebody's eyes, rickety rides
  • Corn dogs, an empty stage, whispers
  • The sound of somebody outside your house at night screaming but when you look they aren't there
  • Quinceañera dresses in a store window faded by the sun
  • The sound of Journey playing on a car radio dorkly

Band Names For A Noise Project That Only Ever Plays One Show

  • We're Always Together
  • Bathed In Aftertaste
  • Useless Tree
  • Runner's Thigh
  • Pain Gretzky
  • Journey, Pt II
  • Phlegmatic Giant
  • Noasis
  • Unobtrusive Thoughts
  • Almost Over
  • Sitcom Man
  • Final Exam

Haiku with the word "Awooga"

  • Snow falls, cheeks tingle, / Awooga! It's time for soup / Look, a hungry bird
  • Cicadas sing loud / Awooga! No more twitter. / Content sighs softly
  • Leaves burn, crows circle round, / Awooga! Stop all that smoke! / Kak-kak-kak-kak-kak!
  • Sparrows look for worms / Awooga! Wiggle, wiggle / Look at them all slurp
  • The light of a flame / Is mingling with my night light / Awooga! House fire!
  • Write. Erase. Rewrite. / Erase again. Write again. / Awooga! It's spring,
  • An old silent pond... / A frog jumps in the water— / Awooga! I'm wet!
  • It's a dew drop world. / And yet, even though it is . . . / Awooga! Dew dries.
  • The crow pecks the bone / The skeleton turns its head / and yells "Awooga!"
  • People remember / the wise silence of Buddha/ not his "Awooga!"
  • Call me "Awooga!" / As I cross the busy road / That is my spring name!
  • Bad Hurricane names: / Walter, Mary, Teresa. / Why not Awooga?

Buddy Cop Duos that Shoulda Been

  • Rainer Werner Fassbinder + Werner Herzog. (Werner & Werner)
  • Jack Black + Michael Jackson
  • Tom Cruise + John Travolta
  • Isabelle Huppert + Willy (the Orca whale)

More Interesting Foods Joey Chestnut Can Eat Competitively

  • Corn Dogs served way too hot, as they always are (maybe he eats the sticks?)
  • Cotton Candy
  • Everlasting Gobstoppers
  • Butter sculptures of his own head
  • Sonic ice
  • Fruit by the Foot
  • Pop Rocks
  • Sunflower seeds (shelled)
  • One impossibly long spaghetti noodle
  • The Lost Boys feast from the movie “Hook”
  • Oysters (but he has to do his own shucking)
  • Other people’s hot dogs (and he isn’t allowed to just wait by a single hotdog cart)

Closed Captions That Could Be Band Names

  • Heavy Breathing
  • Slow, Ominous Music
  • Rustling
  • Loud Sobs
  • Bones Crunching
  • Hissing Smoke
  • Productive cough
  • Sucks Teeth
  • Sniffs Drugs
  • Mild Sobbing

Compliment Sandwich Haiku

  • They were really good. / But they need a bass player. / I loved their singer.
  • Sweet, honest, and real . . . / But Woody Allen made it. / Lobsters make me laugh.
  • Yes! Let's do nothing! / Oh, but that takes privilege. / But I do like parks!
  • So many King books / But I don't want to read them. / The movies are fun.

Halloween Costume Ideas

  • A magician who is haunted by his past.
  • An elementary school teacher who is living a lie.
  • A wealthy dog groomer.
  • A troubled teen who has recently discovered a severed head hidden in their father's Playboy stash.
  • A brilliant yet reluctant farmer.
  • A high class stock broker who secretly lives for the return of the McRib.
  • A google executive who still uses their old AOL email address.
  • A rogue architect who refuses to design handicap accessible buildings.
  • A kitten without a past.
  • A puppy without a cause.
  • You just finished writing your first novel.
  • A person who was stuck in an elevator just this morning, forcing them to miss a very important meeting regarding the future of their children.

Skateboard Brand Names

  • Parakeet Sheriff