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12.02.2024 hello 23.03.2022 hi 10.09.2020 ah... i am here i am in a lot of meetings today, and i am tired and i kinda wanna eat mcdonalds, which i always want to eat, but i know i'll feel bad afterwards. i am quitting my job soon, so i need to start budgeting, which is kind of exciting, actually. i'll be looking for a new roommate soon to make my rent cheaper. 24.08.2020 august was weird does anyone want to be friends? what should we talk about? just @ me :) 13.08.2020 i haven't been on instagram in 6 days. i feel healthier, more whole, more bodily. i was just going to write about the words in my head when i read the previous entry on 06.08, i feel stronger now more motivated to get it all out recently i had a dream in which everyone wore monochrome outfits and my friend brian was referring to each person as their color telling me who he likes out of all the people wearing monochrome outfits 06.08.2020 there are so many words in my head, sometimes i am too weak to get it out looking forward to the out breath 03.08.2020 @rosemop love your road trip resume. i like how you included noteworthy experience 03.08.2020 new apartment, unit 107. the start i have been loving to read @sunflower 's ode to sunflower's love. i think these ways of boldly and blatantly loving is going to be the way we, the ones growing up so hurt by the times and technology, spending all our lives just to realize what had hurt us, will be able to live on. 28.07.2020 asked on instagram stories yesterday if people would go on a cross country road trip with me and like 10 people wanted to. i feel flattered 24.07.2020 2020 is the year i will unapologetically reclaim how emo i am the way i latched onto it as a teen i have always been i love emo music, i love emo people, i love to indulge in darkness and i love to feel deeply and i love rose tinted lenses and romanticizing everything the part of me that never changed since i was 10 24.07.2020 overwhelmed with thoughts 22.07.2020 i'm only 24 so why do my bones hurt? 21.07.2020 thankful and inspired by people around me. people at gossips, taeyoon, richard, laiyi, brian, daedalus, tracey, alex, gloria, hafeez, shea, julia, justin, grace, and many more. sometimes i sit down and i have to remember the people in my life. i am not alone. there are people who care about me, there are many. and i care about them back. i have to remember that 20.07.2020 i want to become 13.07.2020 i found the place i was looking for! this is where i ate dinner countless times in third/fourth grade. i had the lu rou fan (braised pork rice). drooling https://www.google.com/maps/uv?hl=en&pb=!1s0x346801e6cdd3c879%3A0x8b760d2b69905e5b!3m1!7e115!4shttps%3A%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipPUu0t1cvWw1s9TgEibGYKuMZjzNzSVZjBNMhXj%3Dw426-h320-k-no!5z5pmv576O5aWz5Lit5bCN6Z2i5ru36IKJ6aOvIC0gR29vZ2xlIFNlYXJjaA!15sCgIgAQ&imagekey=!1e10!2sAF1QipPUu0t1cvWw1s9TgEibGYKuMZjzNzSVZjBNMhXj&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj9lbjxzsrqAhWFknIEHShSCscQoiowFHoECBAQBg 13.07.2020 it's been awhile since ive been on special fish. i've been thinking about the word special lot, what it means to be special my title in animal crossing is teary eyed fish. i've definitely been teary eyed lately last night i couldn't fall asleep because i was thinking about all the food back home and restaurants from my childhood i used to eat at it's monday and its my first day back at work after taking 2 weeks off 24.06.2020 i have a lot of anger inside me from mistreatment from people who used to be in my life 23.06.2020 thinking about quitting again. asking everyone for advice. is it meaningful to wait for a promotion, and then quit? for title boost and resume. our thermostat is broken so the AC turns on 10 min at a time and then becomes a fan. 18.06.2020 i'm feeling emotional 10.06.2020 wow i really enjoyed the daily enjoy room tour https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5hP4mONZj4 08.06.2020 my new mouse arrives on wednesday. ate a cauliflower wrap. carpal tunnel hurts 02.06.2020 it's june 2020 and i vow to myself to keep learning and teaching and speaking out and taking action forever 26.05.2020 once you start time traveling there is no going back 21.05.2020 when i put my hair up in a ponytail i feel like it strains my eye? 18.05.2020 i love eyedrops and i smell like ambrette 9 for the most part i watched half of love exposure yesterday and thought about how the beginning said it is based on a true story... made me interested in learning more about cults listening to IU, even the thought of her calms me... my fave IU songs are friday and palette this week i have to finish editing a short personal essay i wrote for a short sfpc writing workshop i took. i've grown since i was writing that in feb (pandemic-accelerated self inquiring), so it feels uncomfortable to have to let people read that. it's about shaping your identity on the internet. i'll try my best to spin it in a way that i can hold trying to make image list so i can see the new special fish feature but i can't think of any images to put

a glossy list

  • open airpods case, it's completely clean inside, this shows that my ears are always clean
  • morning eyedrops so my eyes are always clear
  • big gulp of water, my mouth and throat are glistening
  • sitting up straight so my spine is stacked
  • splash my face with cold water, moisturize around the nose
  • crack the window slightly for some wind in the house


  • refresh tears, green opaque bottle
  • sante fx neo, black asymmetric cap, clear circle shape container with black border
  • sante pc, pink liquid pink pentagon container with pink trapezoid cap

i can put my bare hands in very hot water,

  • and my nails are always short

special people are people who understand you

  • and know why you are special, too


  • 相逢又何必相識

every time i close my eyes i stop existing

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KkMyDSrBVI