i thought about what i would write here in my head and let it roll around and get lost before i dragged myself out of bed. im in a hole where everytime i sleep i wake up feeling worse. i still lay down with optimism. some days it breaks me. i know i just need to go on more walks but its winter and its cold and i dont want to be cold. i think about doing laps in the house, but the thought is terrifying. i thought maybe i could make it fun by walking really slow and trying to notice things i hadn't noticed before but i think it would just make me want to clean and then the whole day would be gone.

is this the place where books go

  • the wretched of the screen
  • nonhuman photography
  • book about sarah lucas
  • book about dionne lee
  • lots of internet stuff


  • https://kkovacs.net/
  • https://www.are.na/k-kovacs

lists kinda make me nautious

  • or hyperaware of all the things i forget
  • I like the 'I love shopping' poems by Ren Cook
  • http://www.glowormpress.com/i-love-shopping

i guess i was trying

  • or am trying
  • to get to a place
  • where writing doesnt feel so