16.4.2025 my ears are healed! currently vibing to 365 by charli xcx 15.4.2025 my ears are broken. no matter what i listen to, nothing satisfies me. i hear songs in my head, drumming in my brain, but they suck i don't want to hear them ever again. i listen to songs and it's not good, just noises, no enjoyment. i listen to people talking and i want to shut them up. kill them all. but the silence kills me too. i can handle the chirping of birds and crickets. but only real ones, not those videos on youtube. i want to sleep. maybe that'll heal me. there's this poem i like that soothes me aki no ta no (coarse the rush-mat roof) kario no io no (sheltering the harvest-hut) toma wo arami (of the autumn rice-field) waga koromode wa (and my sleeves are growing wet) tsuyu ni nure-tsutsu (with the moisture dripping through) there's this poem a wrote a while ago. i don't know a good name for it. i enter the bathroom stall strawberry flavored, stuffy vape air enters my nose i think of all the goody two-shoes girls, like me who sat in this place before maybe ages ago sniffing tobacco, cigarette smoke