7/9/24 Today's insight: big cookies should be soft and small cookies should be hard. Evidence: Famous Amos = small, crunchy, delicious Subway cookies = large, soft, delicious 6/24/24 How do I know whether I am disinterested in an opportunity or simply afraid to fail? How do I know whether I am a pleased to have persevered or relieved the hardship is over?

best places in your house to drink a glass of water

  • the kitchen (next to the sink so you can chug the first glass and get another)
  • the bedside table (preferably from your bed; also acceptable to chug right before getting into bed)
  • the patio (bonus points if your house/apt. is on a large body of water)
  • during dinner (the casserole is dry)
  • after dinner (so, so dry)
  • in the shower (1. open your mouth; 2. let fill; 3. eject)

guys who i wish were my uncle

  • john candy (rip)
  • james krivchenia from big thief