'`°*•☆ wiggling around, i guess feb 25th 2am: i think about пир. feb 24th 11pm: the discogs thing (see two blurbs ago) not haggleable, which i understand because rare stuff, but i bought them nevertheless, could afford for now, why not still wanting to acquire a new less bulky + less faulty cd+tape player so i could listen to the stuff directly w less hassle. soon perhaps, im eyeing a certain one feb 24th 6pm: ok, re the general best-smoothie question on @tag's page, my go-to smoothie whenever i make 1 (in the order i usually put the things in - i usually make this at my unidwelling, where theres only a hand blender (just found out they're called that) that came w a container to mix stuff in): some frozen blueberries, ice (optional), an apple, a banana, apple juice. blend my existing shittily placed sleep pattern has been disturbed today twice by external forces. once in a pleasant way (woke up at decent time for a change, and it was sunny, and went outside, w roomie), once in a questionable way (someone in the apartment below somehow banged some object(?) against the ceiling loudly right below me that it was really audible here too, what the fuck? but did wake me up from nap at a decent time) feb 24th, 2am: saw on discogs that someone is selling two physical items i'd mayhaps love to own (one is east harbour by moa pillar & save, she. 2011. cdr. REALLY rare thing. the other is zemli by tikhie kamni. 2015. tape. it's linked in my music list right now). sent a message to the person asking if the prices are haggleable or not (theyre listed for approx 100€ and 40€ respectably). will see when he answers. would love to buy either way. hope this won't make me go all 'gotta catch em all' about physical moa pillar releases, i know there are two releases that are or seem to be on cd (one is pre-moa and definitely has cd copies as an archive page of that on vk shows, the other is moa and allegedly has cd copies (i Could ask moa himself about this ..)). and then humanity, hymns, & wbr, all of which i do own physically. estonia's independence day tomorrow/today. so it's a day off for me. (the only course i'm taking this semester (i'm on extension year) has seminars on mondays) will see what to do on this week off. ought to also access special fish on laptop more than phone ... somehow nicer to read and write this way i actually opened my laptop to deal with the moainfopage stuff i mentioned in last blurb, but got distracted somehow. and my eyes are a tad overwhelmed by now and it's quite late too, i'll leave that for later then. feb 23rd, 9pm: i actually technically have a website too right now ... in my uni's domain, the kind of url with "~[username]", every1 in this uni has one, but i guess most dont use the privilege, especially those outside of comp-related stuff i guess. but i could, whilst im still a student at this uni (im not sure whatd become of it between me hopefully graduating bachelor's and hopefully getting into master's) i do have stuff that could use hostin' (i have a little pagething, with a bunch of info gathered abt moa pillar, as he doesnt have any proper wikithing, and me being the way i am ... the thing is currently elsewhere. [-snip-]) feb 23rd, 8am: unable to fall asleep decently, too many disturbances, hate it feb 22nd, almost 12am: i look at what ive uploaded on the image hosting service i use. https://i.postimg.cc/4yc1bYyQ/pilt.png last august, moa pillar, dj-ing, and a few paper cranes of mine (the ones on his laptop i'd succeeded in tossing onto the deck, he placed them on the laptop himself :D). that was in my ig story then and nothing much else worthwhile to share here, i have mostly more specific things there but the shirts i rambled about in last blurb, i do have a post w one of them on ig, but well, ig. and a tumblr post with the other. https://66.media.tumblr.com/e442b0587fa4036787e5ad6e206b2854/tumblr_ppzwke5xzl1qcv8r8o2_540.jpg me back in last april, with the shirt (which is actually xxl lol, the sleeves reach to my elbows, and the black one is xl) (my hair is now a bit longer, been letting it grow) feb 22nd 9pm: the biscuit cake came out Nice, which is nice starting to do reinforce-y embroidery on the second one of the two shirts moa gifted me last april (the white bits of the design on the shirts seem a tad fragile, i'm embroidering extra edges on the stuff, thankfully it's line-y so it's easy. the white bits of design depict some kinda, hand, with two vague scribbles as probably-sleeve, and 4 sparks from the hand. magic hand. the other bit behind the hand (which is black on the red shirt and grey on the black shirt) are more vague, not sure if that's supposed to spell out anything. should probably dig up a pic link, they're nice shirts. maybe later) cant decide how long to do the individual stitches ... replies @ skwak: - i dont rlly believe in the zodiac stuff either, but it's still fun to look at i guess ? - languages i know mainly: estonian natively, english p much fluently, russian maybe conversationally at this point [-snip-]. have learned icelandic, latin, võro (tho homearea language/dialect), ersa, komi. [-snip/prune-] not bothered to write much more right now, want to get back to the shirt stuff right now. so i do. might ramble later maybe, and dig up a decent pic of either of the aforementioned shirts to show (limited edition merch : D also have 2 more moa-pillar-related shirts besides these 2. one of them is handpainted, by me, in april 2017, proto-moa-merch (i dont think there was any wearable merch at the time), black second-hand shirt, a bit of blue and purple wiggly ~s across the front, and wobblily handpainted "in Moa Pillar I trust". the other is official merch, also a black shirt, with a detail from the cover art of well-balanced rollback, the latest album) (i dont usually tend to wear black much, besides some things (winter coat, one pair of trousers (out of 3-4), the aforementioned shirts, maybe some other things), i like colourful things) been raining almost all day, and windy (some coastal areas are in risk of flood, but i live inland, so). sleepy weather. feb 22nd 2am: the secret cake has been finished. hope it came out fine (probably did, it looks edible nevertheless, and nice too actually). will see what the reaction shall be i took out most things from one set of drawers in my room before this, onto the floor mostly, should probably try to put them away. but need to figure out How and Where to put/arrange them. some notebooks, yarn scraps, modest stone & seashell collection, other stuff... feb 21st 7pm/8pm: @ skwak: heck if i know if i feel a Special Connection to any numbers. but numbers in general are nice in general , (the local bus line i used to take almost daily bc (middle) school is nr 11) (i was rlly good at maths in middle & high school, but also languages, so after graduating hs i was like what the hell and went to study english philology. trying to write the thesis has been the biggest struggle. [-snip-]) looked up my natal chart ... v little pisces in here apparently (just in the 7th house, whatever this may exactly mean. 1v1 relationships, the online thing i'm using says). scorpio sun, cancer moon, virgo rising. so maybe not much pisces energy here, but then again my energies might be all Weird. have not really tuned in in other news, gotta cope w the presence of a couple of small kids the next couple of days [-snip-] so i'll mostly be cooped up in my room w the cat as usual til sunday eve, might go thru some of my drawers, have been wanting to look thru them, maybe rearrange a bit [-snip-] (i have had one main fav all thruout my current 20s, and might not have any other special-interest/hyperfix-level main fav after this, there've been too many shifts and i think i'm ok with this, even if/when the moa-intensity wanes. this'll still remain special, because of, well, the sheer intensity, and some strange human connection. wackiest lil acquaintance) [-snip-] being in one's 20s is wack feb 21st 6pm: a fun challenge, for places with decent public transport network - to figure out what the cheapest way to get from point a to distant point b is, no matter the time it may take. the points can be in different countries, if there's decent connection feb 20th 10pm: i see that it's skwak's mom's bday today, 022020 (or 200220 for ddmmyy) & i counter this with the fact that this year my mom's bday is on 220220 (or 022220 for the mmddyy people) (moa pillar's most known track, although from 2010/2011, is water lily. my mom's name is lily, & pisces is a water sign. one strange little coincidence of plenty) i havent really figured out fully what logic ive used for faveing people here, but. i'll roll with that (i mostly access the net on mobile. text seems to take More Space on mobile browser specialfish, so i tend to b a bit ramble-shy, even if ppl may b accessing it on pc more than mobile. but i do not know. [-snip-]) re birthdays, it's quite interesting how the dd+mm in my, my 2 full bros' & my mom's bdays include only 0s, 1s and/or 2s [-snip-] feb 20th 8am: opened the seal cam, there is activity. sounds and noises, and a baby seal fumbling around (tho the stream somewhy tends to hang a bit too often?) feb 20th 5am: overwhelmed!!!!!! need to go to bed also hopefully i wont forget to buy the biscuit cake ingredients on friday upon going home also seeing stars in the sky always makes me happy also i wonder how some people manage to have multiple twitter accounts. ive had one single one since SUMMER OF 2009. but maybe it would be nice to... [-snip-] feb 20th 3am: stumbled upon a tweet "i discovered moa pillar's music through @specialfishbird (from pirl), and it's really good" (-@wifiphantom, cant quite put a finger on who they are on here. (edit 4pm: realized, but will keep it mysterious) (edit 10pm: ok it certainly is skwak :D)) :D! i mean, it IS good, how the hell else would i still be vibing (well, besides the sheer humanity, somehow) feb 20th 1am: thought 1 - weirdest ever blessing upon me: moa pillar, one of my big fav music artists (also linked in music list below), telling me twice (in 2018, both times when i saw him live that year) that he thinks he needs to write a track and name it after me (i.e pirl). i wonder ... (but by now he has a music label, it's named пир (/pir/, feast in russian). i continue to wonder.) thought 2 - at least i know what to do for my moms bday on saturday (biscuit cake, hopefully will sneakily make it in the wee-est hours of the day). but still gotta figure out what to do for my friend's bday next tuesday (but they, i, & a mutual friend will be havin a lil chill at a cafe that evening) feb 19th 2am: sometimes human connections are weird feb 16th 4am: i think about https://docs.google.com/document/d/1i0Z73mhwLyG9R8RKvLFm6NUSsdZeL8LVcOh3I0arWjA this essay (via http://celiahollander.com) as i listen to secret by moa pillar but paulstretched (in audacity, with parameters of 10 (stretch factor) and 1s (time resolution), also have another saved version with time res of 0.25s) theres even at least one compilation dedicated to paulstretch, that someone in one of the discord servers im in has contributed to. funky. (https://girlygirlmusik.bandcamp.com/album/the-x-lives-of-paul the one i meant) but secret by moa is very dreamy, either way. feb 15th 7pm: domestic wonderings some things in my room which i don't know how to place feb 15th 4pm: finally have been working on the little jobthing for that local phonetics corpus feb 12th 11pm: want - to figure out what i really want or need from life - a cup of cocoa - less overwhelm ... found thing, feb 12th 9am: seal cam! https://youtu.be/3A1Wi3sOy7g tomfoolery, feb 12th 2am: i see the word 'fediverse' and despite the fact i know of the concept, i think, "universe of fedyas!" so there's that check-in, feb 10th 11pm: [-snip-] life's been feeling out of balance somehow & time a bit too slippery. want to try to redirect this energy somehow, in a less unfulfilling way


  • https://moapillar.bandcamp.com/track/not-even-last-nights-storm-could-wake-me
  • https://katenv.bandcamp.com/album/for
  • https://pioulard.bandcamp.com/track/excave
  • https://katydid1305.bandcamp.com/album/i-am-so-happy-that-we-were-in-the-same-place-at-the-same-time
  • https://lovozero.bandcamp.com/album/zemli


  • cats
  • not cats

i exist

  • https://sneakypancake.tumblr.com
  • https://instagram.com/sneekiblin
  • https://last.fm/user/sneakypancake
  • https://twitter.com/sneekiblin even if im trying to figure out how to continue to be on there

intentions for near future

  • quietly vibing
  • ..

pirl is a fan of