'`°*•☆ dec 30 9pm: sometimes feels nice not to elaborate... dec 15 8:30pm: back from the trip to bristol, it was quite nice overall but my head hurts and my throat is sore now, need a big sleep before work tomorrow... feeling fragile, my period started during the trip too. shed a few tears twice on the flights, once happy (over the tiny things, as usual), once sad (over hypothetical thinking). glad still. time to slowly sink back into the day-to-day and try steer myself best i can towards more ideal futures... dec 11 8:45pm: dont want to directly ping this person w a mention but @ vent [ https://special.fish/vent ] you are so real for all of that. im fortunately not dealing with any active flaming crushes right now, just this stupid lowkey admiration for a certain huge fav artist amongst the other appreciations i got goin for him mostly music-wise. can't flag this as a celeb crush he is not a celeb and Fuckign Knows I Exist. and im catching him dj for the 12th time this friday loolllll (though after the sets this month there will apparently be no more until album :-O!!?!) okay, well, and this friend of mine who's admitted she has a crush on me but she's been rather awol from online but i don't mind that, and some sort of dry crush-kindling at hand for another friend who appeared in a dream of mine a little embarrassingly some time back and i mentioned that to him vaguely and he was like 'gonna have to remember to bring this up next time i catch you at an oli show' lol, i mean realistically nothing will happen of this, would just be funny to directly recount the dream. tangential: i tend to forget at a conscious level i have Real Influence On My Part Of The World? so it feels ...good? whenever some1 really Acknowledges what i do, or whenever i make some1 really Feel something with what i do or say. nov 6 9:30pm: stupidly quiet life looking forward to winter ⇄ looking forward to summer [snip] jul 1 9pm: i went on a really long nighttime walk the other night (wee hours of 28th, some 12:30am to 4:00am), still thinking of the 2:30am hot dog and peppermint hot chocolate i got from the 24h gas station at the edge of town [snip]