'`°*•☆ oct 01 8pm: okay wait iwas wanting to write something here but forgot what? annyway... i got 4 days off now. gonna... see about what to do. sept 28 1am: nvm its quite chill af on my own 4 now tooo.... yet to meet the lfm mutual but hung out at helsinki friend's for a bit after all :-] 4:30am: shortly after i wrote that, i first clocked evian across the centre djdeck+lightingdeck area who mustve clocked me first (lightup winged cap), then the mutual came and said hi - she brought her bestie too, hung out w em for rest of nite, girls nite nice for a change toooooo :-] though did think silly things during evian set slightly. but also fascinated w the atomic strobe color scrollers at points, and at one point a slight intervention aka i pulled someones handbag handle away from leaning into one of the scrollers haha and one of my tartu friends follows the mutual on insta - small small world 2:30pm: after i posted abt the set to my ig story, due to not having ended up meeting directly face to face this time, evian simply replied to it: > oi > wheres my origami swan lmaoooooo the humbling ordeal of being recognized for such (one of my visible post got some origami cranes, and ive menaced plenty ppl w em incl evian) did give him an optional crane geocache quest... but not even a guarantee itll still b there at that tram stop by the time + no guarantee of him even havin the time to entertain the quest, but i didnt have much time myself to think up how n where ahah - there WILL be a next time sept 27 9:30pm: in helsinki, catching evian christ n some others tonight. last i was in this hostel was 1.5 years ago, and shysoft-dream friend was here too to catch the event. same hostel, different dormtype room. he wouldve considered coming to tonights thing too but needs some memories from his june fin trip forgotten first. i don't blame him but - i wish he were here? this feels stupidly cliche to say. but its kinda true. mightnt even manage to link up w/ my helsinki friend (whos not pullin up at the event, and may currently be at a diff one), will see. at least i'll be meeting an estonian lastfm mutual tonight all the same, if they do come n say hi to me w my lightup wings :-p they did ask me if i also went to tallinn evian so they mustve spotted my winged cap there tooo... i guess this log has become silly softfeelings log, temporarily. sept 17 4pm: at work. sleepy https://special.fish/lists/68be10a3ed2964de54e2b668 love this list of lists admitted my soft feelings - got a reassuring appreciative reply (even while they said theyre admittedly terrible at responding to these kinds of things over text - v understandable - but the "but i appreciate the love" warms my heart) :,] maybe taken some edge off this now but now ill just have to find ways to fulfillingly occupy my free time, as not to get usurped in the soft yearn too hard (lol). cos next ill meet the friend irl probs gonna be in a couple of months lmao and who knows then if anything, gotta keep realistic but: tryin to play cool but i'd lie if i said some part of me wouldn't want to plant a cheek kiss on that rather cute-to-me face (mildly referencing hoodie music by oli xl here. last the friend n i met, at a 2nighter event, after 1st night i accompanied the friend [significantly debuffed] back to their hotel whereabouts cos i wanted them to get there safe, and the song wasnt out yet but oli had played it in dj sets, so during the journey the friend started randomly singing bits of it *twice*! i may or may not have had an earlier version via minimal leakage (and had already started to mildly associate it w/ them.......), so i ended up playing it to them too) have been having friend by james k on loop from the shop aux (basic speakers nearby the main comp, hidden behind the battery stands) all day today might snip this entry sometime soon but for now im chatty... sept 15 9:30pm: "for what ive considered to be dry crush-kindling" fuck sake i dont know what but something mustve lit that on fire a bit. crush-embers. call me bouncy the way i'll ball about this, sometime, no matter what the outcome could/would be. do wanna be stupidly honest/earnest about that directly but i get shy. cool cool cool ok cool ok cool ok cool jul 18 '25 2am: people in my head rentfree embarrassingly soft vaguethoughts for what ive considered to be dry crush-kindling stupid mosquito bites [sniiiiiip] ~~~ don't really know how to fill the rest of this space i got in here. but i don't have to!