to the unnamed reader, hello. I'd like to think we could be friends. \\\\\\\\ feeling: a little better, I think the omeprazole is finally moving the needle somewhat. still dealing with bloating and cramping more than before, but there hasn't been the same level of chest pain or upper gi discomfort (though there definitely still is some) as before. guess it just took a little while for things to start turning around. still not back to normal, but maybe we're starting to begin to get there. \\\\\\\\ reading: shikasta, lessing \\\\\\\\ 2024-02-16 huehuehue got the evening off wednesday. Actually on second thought that's not a huehuehue moment because John the GM's dog died and he needs some time, but it still meant I could spend the evening quietly reading and eating one of those bigass Tony's bars over the course of like an hour. Stomach seemed alright with it, I went slowly and didn't notice any terrible reaction beyond the usual discomfort I get from eating. Unrelated but it I am genuinely kind of sad that I've broken down and decided to replace my auntie's ancient crockpot that I inherited; one of the handles keeps breaking off and it doesn't heat very well anymore (which I had to admit to myself after getting crunchy undercooked beans with a full 12 hours of cooking), and a new one with the exact same functionality is like $24 but still, it stings a little. This thing kept me alive after moving out, and based on a little research today, is probably mid-70s vintage and so is coming up on 50 years old, so it's certainly put in its time and doesn't owe me anything anymore, but I'll feel sad having to set it aside. I kind of want to do something with the stoneware/glass since those are still good (even if the heating element and housing are kind of shot), I just don't know what yet. Plus it (like a lot of other stuff in my kitchen) is a tangible reminder of my aunts and of a pretty fraught time in my life. I'll figure something out. Put in for a job at Norwich U, kind of reminds me of the Roswell job from last time around. Pay starts at 49k, which is dogshit and I wouldn't otherwise consider, but it does say more with experience so if it comes to it I'll see what I can wring from them. 2024-02-14 Well it's Valentine's, can't wait to go home and shovel down some food, feed the sourdough, and see if a big chocolate bar makes me vomit before sitting down to 4 hours of videochat RPG playing. It's a wednesday and Rosette is ungodly sensitive to any change in routine for any reason so I wasn't expecting to see her tonight, and we usually do our valentine's and anniversary things together at the beginning of the month, so I promise that's not as sad as it sounds. Churned some actual archival items today, wasn't chained to my computer doing bs surveys for money all the time like monday lmao. Slacked off certainly, but did at least something to earn my paycheck today. 2024-02-12 Huh okay that was a weekend. Chickened out from preserving lemons at the last second, but my excuse is that I don't really want to be putting more stuff long-term in my fridge when I know I'm going to be moving soon. Or so I tell myself. Did manage to control the berserk fiending for chocolate I was feeling on Friday, only bought one (1) white bar at aldi that afternoon and didn't eat it until Saturday. Turns out chocolate is one thing which my stomach consistently hates, I tried about a third of the bar at a time at different times during the day and each time I got gnarly reflux afterwards. So right now it seems like spicy food is fine, beer and whiskey in general are OK if I'm eating something with them and I pace myself, red wine is touch-and-go, and chocolate is a big no. Well at least my body is dissuading me from spending money on unhealthy things. Was pleased with how the pretzels turned out yesterday, I did a batch of soft pretzel bites to bring over to Rosette's and while the recipe was different from what I'm used to (pretty enriched and I didn't see a lot of rise, but that could be my yeast getting a little long in the tooth) the alkali wash turned out better than usual and the end result was delicious. huehueheheuheuhue I am one step closer to making 90k finagling federal court records, after putting in for a yale job I am definitely not qualified for I just got an email ping from usajobs telling me I'm eligible for the job as described, which is a hell of a lot more than I was expecting. That feels quite nice, we're getting closer than I'd like to the end of my time with the nuns, and I'd like to have something lined up sooner rather than later. Who the hell knows if I'll actually get the position, but for now I'll take the W. Okay that turned out like an alright day, got a gi appt set up for next week, made some decent money online, got back to my manager about some stuff, wasn't horribly sleepy, only kind of felt like shit, plus the job-application stuff too. Could have been a lot worse. 2024-02-09 Theoretically working. Should try to apply for something better today, been steadily getting interest the last few months but nothing's cohered into an offer. So it goes, that's archives for you. Going to try and schedule a consult with the gi doc today, lord knows I've been putting that off long enough and the referral note is right there on the desk in front of me. Stomach's been up and down the last few weeks, omeprazole seems to be helping somewhat, but we're not back to normal just yet. Answered an email from a sister about something archival. Going to maybe even go rehouse some photos after I hear back from the gi doc's office. Speaking of gi stuff, I have been pleasingly regular lately, eating pinto beans and brown rice all week (to make up for being a little too profligate on vacation this past weekend) will do that to you. Going to try preserving some lemons this weekend. Saw an article about preserved lemons by chance earlier today and it looks easy enough to diy instead of spending way too much money like some sort of coward. Plus I'm going grocery shopping after work this afternoon anyway and lemons are like $2/lb at aldi, so it's worth a try. Something to dissuade me from buying chocolate or some other tasty thing I don't need. hmm maybe maybe not, I've never had preserved lemons before but on the other hand fuck that it's good to get out of a rut and try new things because otherwise we'd just spin in place making bad decisions. Stepped outside to get something from my car and it sounds like antiaircraft guns firing downtown. Some sort of work, I assume. goddamn fr. God I hate exercising, god I hate becoming an old person. would that I could just push a button once a day instead of flailing my wretched carcass around for an uncomfortably long time. Almost through the day, sent an email and I guess that's the extent of today's productive activity. Never got a callback, guess I'll inquire about my guts on monday. Avoided the urge to nap during my lunch break, read instead and I'll probably read some more through this evening after dinner.