Oct/23/24: Sick again! The cat is at the end of the bed after spending (almost) all day sleeping in the wardrobe..very cute. Watching Line of Duty and blobbing out, taking it easy on myself. There is two months left in the year, what do I want to be doing with it? Sept/01/24: Two months since my last note here. Teaching has eased off for a bit thankfully...haven't felt this knocked around by teaching since I first began it FT - something needs to change. Jul/01/24: Rundown, wanting a break. Took the second half of the day off because I just couldn't face staying at work feeling ill. Want to feel buoyant... want to make something and feel like I have the time to do it without being more tired. Jun/03/24: Sick the last few days. Opened the sliding door to the balcony this afternoon while in bed and the breeze, the sounds, the light, the cat coming in and out at will... are making me feel better. May/21/24: I have been feeling a bit adrift recently - like i'm waiting for something to happen, or relying on other people's currents to move me. It's not a feeling that makes for confidence, for....something, can't put my finger on what word I really mean. The cycle of invitation / exhibition / completion the last two years has indulged a temporary sense of 'specialness' -- and I have become a bit used to opportunities arriving in my lap. What that does is somewhat negative in terms of drive, because it has allowed me to be pushed (most often in a good way) by external potentials, and I haven't needed to 'make' my own, or even to identify what I really want to do myself (even though a lot of what I've done has overlapped anyway -- but am I just saying that now?). Apr/28/24: Today we moved the lime tree in the yard. It was planted (?) by someone else, really they just left in a big terracotta pot which it had broken out of and then semi-fallen over. We righted it, and moved it over a bit so there is more space (and shade) in the garden -- it has made a big difference. We also moved the compost! Today has been a lovely day. Oct/1/23: Half of today was spent in the garage, other half on the couch... the perfect mixture? Working towards an exhibition in Nov, lots of components incl. some made not by me (for the first time ever?) which is interesting. Feels important to keep all these 'pieces' in my head at once but I'm not sure whether I am! Jan/21/23: Last year was a very very busy one -- said yes to lots of things and projects (the prospect of some scared me very much), and worked all the time to pull them off. Frankly surprised that I did! Mar/18/22: Tired and sitting with the cat next to me. This first part of the year has flown by...as it always tends to? Nov/12/21: Almost at day 90 of lockdown - that feels weird. Have gotten used to it more I think, and is easier than last time. Also good that semester is now over, so the pace of the days have changed. I think it has also helped me be in the studio more, especially recently. Trying to get back into running (by actually peeling myself off the couch) after letting it go this winter, never really figured out a way to fit it into my routine with the sun going down so early. Aug/9/21: Interesting to see I was thinking about not going on Twitter anymore back in April...am trying to be on there less. Not sure whether its working. Trying to get started (or keep started) on projects, which feels harder the more I get sucked into work. I really don't want to get into the pattern of leaving 'my' work to the semester breaks, and feeling like it's at the edges, when for me it's at the center. Apr/6/21: Hmm.. going to reverse the order of entries here, feels weird to start in the 'past'. (OK done now!) Easter break has been a needed breather. I'm also trying to not go on Twitter any more? Too much of a time suck - I *think* I'd like to be doing something else with that time.... but what. Haha, maybe I need a hobby. Dec/11/20: My show went well (I think), its nice when something happens how you imagine (installing stuff), but I also wish to have a really long time in a gallery sometime soon, to play around with space, etc. Maybe that never happens, as you get better with planning idk. Nov/19/20: Have been busy with work -- but happy to be finally back on the fish. I have a show soon, so have been working on that too :-) Sept/16/20: Been feeling very tired these last few days, missing friends a bit, feelin' blue. Aug/23/20: Sunday-day. Thinking about new projects to get started on, and it feels like i've got lots of ideas but lacking in skill. Though I do start this way fairly often -- coming up with some hare-brained idea that requires me to learn totally new skills. Sometimes I wish I wasn't like that, and worked through certain skills so I got better at them. In some ways I do, but I also take on new things without thinking it through. Recently this has worked for me, but I'm sure this won't always be the case. Aug/04/20: Today in found out that BP is a real place (it's in A)! Jul/31/20: Slow-er morning, spending a bit of it in bed. It's a cool and grey day outside. Jul/29/20: Research day today -- Paolo Uccello book to scan, paper mache to work with. Very satisfying to squish the paper pulp to get the water out -- particles suspended in water become impressions of my closed fist. Sending something to a friend in Melbourne who is back in lockdown now.