tentative

✿ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ Feeling: listless September 21 Even when I get what I want, I still feel like there's something missing. Maybe because **this** is what I will get the most approval from. It is safe, but it does not come from me. What a lovely thought, to only pursue things that come from me... ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ Feeling: calm December 1 It feels like I am running out of time to figure out who I want to be choices / \ easy hard / \ / \ waste comfort ??? fulfillment What would you do? ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ Feeling: weird March 14th Wow I feel so strange, it's been a year or so since I've logged on. It might sound weird but this community was the only group of friends I had for a while, even though I didn't directly communicate with anyone. I've missed you I want to go to Paris, alone this year. Am I being impulsive or am I returning to who I was before all the sadness came? Mostly I want to be alone. For a while. ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ Feeling: open Jan 17th 2024 what I *really really* want right now: to be a creative to be a writer to write a novel so many things at once to be alone, even though I love him to live alone to dye my hair to yell at people who are rude to me to visit Montreal to stop pretending to be seen ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ Feeling: still February 26 2024 If you are quiet enough, and you shut away the Other voices, you'll know what step to take next! Just be true to yourself and be courageous enough to stick to it. ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ Feeling: sad May 11 /////////////i don't wan't to lose myself again. And fall into the pattern of obsession, constantly yearning, wanting to erase myself. ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ Feeling: dull June 25 i am complacent in unhappiness, i forget that I can also choose to be happy but am I willing to exchange it for immediate pain? ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑ ⁂ ⁎ ⁑

what I really want right now

  • 4/12: A good lemon cake recipe
  • 4/13: To sleep before midnight
  • 4/14: To be like the average person my age
  • 4/15: To make deadlines & follow through
  • 5/1: To make myself proud
  • 5/2: To sleep before midnight
  • 10/7: A TI-84 calculator
  • 1/20: To fall asleep right now
  • 2/6: Cheese pizza, pineapples, abe's mini chocolate chip muffins, heart rate under 65
  • 3/14/22: To sleep for a long time
  • 12/1/22: To feel things deeply again
  • 9/21/23: To live in an uncluttered space, to live alone

  • 1/17/24: being an infp is so tragic/beautiful. i want to change, but i should just accept it
  • 1/28/24: to go home. i am overstimulated at his place — and i don't feel comfortable
  • 5/11/24: to stop wanting him, please realize it's an illusion. he doesn't want you and you don't want him you want to escape yourself
  • 6/25/24: to be honest, a woman of my word