if I own this moment
then I die with each passing second
:replaced and rebuilt and replaced
:line upon line,
:precept upon precept,
do I live my own life?
owing to all past creatures who have inherited these temple walls?
(for these are past creatures)
consciousness, my essence in being,
as childhood or just yesterdays;
a function of time?
which moments before were very real, but are now lost in the eternities.
things move on procedurally, yet not quite
almost procedurally; if not accidentally
:our thoughts are woven through time.
right to be jealous of future or past selves:
a grain-seed of the field of harvest (a future)
a harvest-field of the seed of grain (a past)
can this jealousy be justified?
our memories, our anticipations
do We only keep these children of thoughts to serve us evidence that We exist
(do they own us or We, them?)
each moment is a fragment
:a piece, but each a separate, eternal, frame
(not unlike a sequence of animations; a sham)
from life to death: an illusion that We move and are alive.
then what are We?
are We just a frame or are We the whole being?
each glimpse is a fleeting moment:
hopes, miseries, desires,
sensations, thoughts, emotions.
We fail to embrace
to escape this consequessence of macro-organism.
waking, sleeping, driven by our never-satisfied desire to attain an un(objet petit a)obtainable;
whether or not similarly equal or equivalently possible: never a constructed part of transition, translation.
lifetimes spent, generations without pause
each repeating the same magnificent story
over and over
again and again
running without breath: this is our present bias.
each glimpse is a fleeting moment
:driven onward by time;
hopes, miseries, desires, sensations, thoughts, emotions;
each new complexity adding to our heaped understanding of the human condition
:there is no escape until We are lost:
until We change.
it has been said that people change.
and indeed they do.
but by what definition?
is our definition dynamic?
can definition be dynamic?
are we the whole system
or a single frame?
each day we grow and change
but when we change
are we "us"?
are we the whole
or a single part?
if we were the whole,
then our change is contradiction.
I'm not against change
I'm against contradiction:
some dimensionless physical constant for which we only hope
so I argue
We are one frame:
each day lost and born anew;
not who we were yesterday,
not who we are tomorrow,
but who we are today.
I am who I am today.
to this conclusion I must now answer:
I own this moment,
owing to all past self
:to fulfill their dreams
I trust a future self:
to fulfill my dreams: owing.
I own this moment: I control it
but not my past,
for though I am responsible for my past,
I can't change or control it.
our ego justified by willpower
envy may be justified, but does it teach?
no: for even this shall pass with frame.
Our resolve? to be actively content.
the future of my moment will also come and pass away
&my moment is wasted if I take it against
We own our memories, our anticipations, but they also drive us and control us.
We are one loose frame: dangling
free, but without anchor
from our desire for continuity We latch onto our memories
from our desire for universal consistency We anticipate unity
We may be only a frame, but remember: We decide what to forget.
what is right, or what is illusion.