`3/22/2022 i wanna write a show about him, so that i can kill him off. ` 4/6/2020 bruce is sucha masculine name to me, like a portmanteau of brute force. but it actually just means thick brush. to oscillate is to swing back and forth and osculate is smooching. briefly imagined myself as a pendulum osculating dust while oscillating ` 4/4/2020 well monument valley taught me that often challenges we face do not require the strength to hold on, but the strength to let go ` 29/3/2020 my nights last all day now ` 28/3/2020 just read the four agreements in a bid to unlearn unhealthy thought patterns. i'm generally apprehensive about reading self-help but this one imparts wisdom through simple words and says so much through the spaces between them the four tenets are: 1. being impeccable with your word how words can shape your reality so you have to employ kind and honest language 2. don't take anything personally respecting the different identities of others this is something i struggle most since i'm ultra sensitive like phyllo pastry 3. don't make assumptions this helps with spiralling thoughts and realising that many stories i concoct in my mind may not even be real 4. always do your best so that you won't judge/punish yourself ok now back to finding my truth ` 27/3/2020 kept thinking 'why fall in love when you can fall down the stairs' turning 29 in 29 minutes growing old without ever knowing better hope things will get shinier anyway ` 26/3/2020 sometimes i feel bad for laughing at embarrassing film footages. but the actors were probably paid more money than most of us will make in a lifetime so i guess it's okay, they'll be fine