monday, 5.13.24 in pdf and digital resource sharing mode in a very intense way rn. i sent a pdf via tinder message yesterday (https://transreads.org/we-want-it-all-an-anthology-of-radical-trans-poetics/). if you want a pdf or cool website rec hit me up via links in list, i am ravenous. also i am so open to receiving, always. here's another one for the road: https://archive.emilydickinson.org/correspondence/higginson/thletdex.html also in job hunting and also housing hunting mode which are way more awful modes. feels like i am talking into the void here but if anyone knows of any digital accessibility or building stuff jobs in philly or remote that are like for a good cause let me know please dear god ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ friday, 4.12.24 someone told me last night that we are all "colonized" by staphylococcus and clostridioides difficile (C. Diff) bacteria at all times and it's just an imbalance that causes the bad stuff. dead baby bird season is starting in Philly, and i've seen 4 so far (3 in the same general area on 13th). a friend asked me why i am so interested in them and i think it's just bc it's a very powerful empathetic and aesthetic experience to see them in their rly tragic poses. taking pics. just strained out some homemade jiuniang but it's smelling and tasting a bit vinegary. tried to let it go a day or two longer at 90 degrees to make it more wine-y but i think it went past that. oops! wonder if i can use it for cooking though--it smells great. letting rice ferment for that long with just qu always kinda freaks me out though. also made some successful adzuki natto and some failed very sour adzuki tempeh in the past week. this morning i found a public fb group for graduates of the old catholic elementary school on 12th and Reed that is now a fancy apt building that my friend lives in [was originally a public school from ~1910 to ~1942?]. watched the eclipse from its roof. lots of SCARY pics of nuns. and one nice pic of a flute class from when it was public. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ created friday, 3.29.24; N+7 of below description of iPhone lady [using http://www.spoonbill.org/n+7 with large dictionary]: "in frost of this mandible (facing me): a shrewd-looking woodcutter in a raisin jailbreak that has little do-gooders all over it. underneath the jailbreak she has a thickly striped royal bluff and white quasar zoom. she has on very cistern, very thick-rimmed totem glimmers. she is utilizing an extravaganza chalk to hold her brilliantly red reusable shorty bakery, despite the clear dearth of chalks in this cal (i have been watching perch uncomfortably sibling around looking for secrets.) with her headlamp cocked backfire, moviegoer slightly open, iphone x at armholes lesion, she is making very deliberate climbers with her rim indisposition fir. i door't think this is a great desk but you certainly know what i mean." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ monday, 4.1.24; someone told me they don't read fiction "because why are you [the book] talking to me that way." which makes sense to me. good point. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ wednesday 4.3.24; list of things in the le pain quotidien at 15th and walnut at ~3pm [archived on website] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ tuesday, 4.2.24; for my first writing on here i will choose an excerpt from an email i wrote to a dear friend many years ago. it is a description of the happenings inside the Rittenhouse Square Barnes & Noble cafe [r.i.p.] on saturday, dec. 15, 2018 at ~4pm: ... + directly in front of me (with back turned): a shiny-headed man in a camo gore-tex jacket. he has a stack of strength training magazines and was reading the "fight club 2" graphic novel. right now he is furiously cleaning his backpack, meaning that its entire contents are splayed on the table in front of him. he is frantically beating his backpack and a lot of mysterious powder is falling out. highlights of the bag: + a very nice canon dslr (perhaps the reason that urgent cleanliness is necessary) + the same cocoa butter lip balm i have + a pristine sephora makeup brush + a book of checks that is folded in half, lengthwise + a memory card holder that is secured by a padlock that is larger than the card itself. i wonder what is on there. it looks very silly + in front of this man (facing me): a shrewd-looking woman in a rain jacket that has little dogs all over it. underneath the jacket she has a thickly striped royal blue and white quarter zip. she has on very circular, very thick-rimmed tortoiseshell glasses. she is utilizing an extra chair to hold her brilliantly red reusable shopping bag, despite the clear dearth of chairs in this cafe (i have been watching people uncomfortably shuffle around looking for seats.) with her head cocked back, mouth slightly open, iphone x at arms length, she is making very deliberate clicks with her right index finger. i don't think this is a great description but you certainly know what i mean. + speaking of uncomfortably shuffling around looking for chairs: i have been watching a very large (in both axes) man with a cane and a beautiful vertically striped pastel sweater break many many social norms by temporarily commandeering a chair that had a tiny cardigan thrown over the back of it. he was very clearly uncomfortable about it, but also very clearly needed the chair. the cardigan's owner was in the bathroom. anyways, the shrewd lady left and he took her seat immediately. her bright red shopping bag has been replaced by a perfectly cylindrical hunter's orange duffel bag. when he sat down, shiny man left, and pastel man and i simultaneously bent over to look at the pile of powder that was left by his fervent cleaning. we both looked up and made eye contact at the same time, shrugged, and returned to our business (my business is writing this email.) he just flagged down a woman to let her know that the shiny man's seat was available (it was not apparent bc shiny man left his magazines strewn about). pastel man is definitely my favorite person in this cafe. + behind pastel man, there is a wobbly grandpa with lips perpetually pursed. he is wearing a brown sweater with stretched-out neck over a crinkly red plaid button up (not just wrinkly, but crinkly too. i can hear it). on his head is a plain baseball cap with blue brim and black body. his head is tilted down so i cannot see his eyes. he is flipping backwards through what appears to be some kind of highly saturated nature encyclopedia. between flips he fingers the top button of his shirt. + in the opposite corner from me: two older definitely queer people with identical hair (straight, dyed hot pink, medium length). one of them has pink beats around their neck. they are having a very stern conversation, which was started by the beats-less person walking up behind the beats-laden one, removing the beats, forcibly poking the part of the neck that the beats had covered, and returning the beats to their original spot. the beats-less person kind of looks like jonathan franzen with cat-eye glasses, a soul patch, and a michael kors purse. + ok there are many more interesting characters but i do not have the time to type about all of them. this was done in haste with little revision. i am sorry if it is incomprehensible. + pastel man keeps getting better and better and i cannot do him justice. he is so outwardly kind to everyone in here, in a very genuine way. + a very skinny boy in a leather jacket just crept around the cafe holding an imaginary microphone, singing a song that i do not know. in a very beautiful voice, with a very beautiful smile. it has caused pastel man to start telling another very feeble old man about the crazy things he has experienced being in here every day. [name of recipient]. my heart is about to jump out of my chest. of course i am recording it. i hope my keyboard clicks don't get in the way of the recording. ... i don't have the recording anymore :/ here's a map from memory [honestly, it may be completely inverted][also this does NOT work on mobile lol, only desktop][still looks kinda fun on mobile]: +----------------------------------+ | | bookstore [r.i.p.] | +-----+ x [beats | | x [crinkly | | queers]| bookstore [r.i.p.] | grandpa] | | | | ++ +---------+ | | x [dusty bag | x[pastel | | outside | guy] | man | | [approx. bookstore [r.i.p] [raining]| +-+ original] +----+--- singing | x [iphone lady +----+ | boy path] | & final pastel man] | +-----+--- | +-----------+ | | | x [me!] +------------------+ | bookstore [r.i.p.] | | +----------------------------------+ | | bookstore [r.i.p.] | cafe bar [contracted starbucks kind] +----------------------------------+