1/11 we are flying between buildings, we are in midtown then uptown and the plane barely fits between them. N is so excited, she keeps telling me to take photos, to enjoy the view but i pull my window shade down. my stomach is in knots, i am terrified. when we land you are there and you kiss me and it starts to rain. 12/24 the plane is looking for a place to land. it is emergency landing, it is looking for a clear spot of highway. no, it is simply faltering, it pulls up. the copilot pulls it up, we don't need to land. everyone is calm but i scream and they turn to look. i am the only one who knows it is an emergency when the wings clip the top of tall pines. the plane undulates comically and i feel my stomach flip and turn and i am still the only person who knows it is an emergency so wait––maybe it is not an emergency? i stifle crying and feel around for him and he is not there, wait he is. it is not an emergency it is steely blue and we are going to germany. here we go baby. 9/23 i am in the back seat of a car, i can’t identify the driver. I keep falling asleep and at first it’s understood that sleep is what we are doing but then he is alarmed, tries to rouse me and tells me to leave but my body is so heavy. I realize I’ve been drugged. I wake up in a panic and you put on wait wait don’t tell me. I have the dream twice more before i understand and when it finally hits me i want to sob into your shoulder blade but i go back to sleep with my fingers crossed on both hands. 7/21 we're in a plane that is extra wide after waiting a long time at the airport. it is winter and in the city where i was born it is steel grey, electric and glowing. i feel warm air in my ears and when i wake up it is your breath in real time. 5/16 i am wading into a tide pool the size of an ocean, though everyone insists it is a lake. you are waiting for me to do this, you are being kind and patient, you know it is important. the water is clear but full of living things. i step on a razor clam and think 'razor clam' but the sand is gentle and yielding. i notice strings of pearls glittering through the kelp at the surface. 5/1 i take you to a house i used to live in and the inside is charred and totally destroyed. you are working as a high profile lawyer and a painter on the side. you are an under water lawyer. everybody loves you. we are on a boat, i am chosen out of many many many 4/27 she had come back from japan interesting and beautiful 4/22 sometimes the architecture is there, like the steps up to the house or the deck, but the wood is intact and cared for not rotted and mossy, which is usually how i know it is a dream 12/4 i'm in the car and my brother is on fire again. outside it is white every branch is coated. 10/30 i became lucid halfway through the dream. first i wanted snow, then i wanted warm rain. i jumped off the porch and flew around the worst place i ever lived, it looked small and unoffensive. 10/28 no plane this time but i dreamed i frantically fumbled another wad of cash. odie's leash slipped from my hand and i yelled myself hoarse until i woke up. 10/19 there was no takeoff or landing, just a center seat in economy. i was smoothing and counting crumpled euro while my brother grasped desperately at them. 10/15 the plane was completely upside-down but all of the passengers didn't seem to mind. we reached cruise altitude before plummeting back to earth. 10/14 foggy & inconclusive 10/11 haven't had the teeth falling out dream in months. lately the plane makes it off the ground and falls back into the ocean the moment i start to feel at ease. 3/17 I forgot to sieve the blue celadon so when i arrived i had to hurry to get it done. I spilled some on the floor and thought about shamrock shakes. 3/16 there is nothing in the air but air today. it's beautiful and bright.


  • odie greeted me when i woke up
  • the oat milk got foamy
  • the snow machine made soap foam
  • the old elevator was full of firewood
  • my finger was ringless, but dented
  • the bad thing wasn't actually happening
  • tulips in a styrofoam cup