12/4 i'm in the car and my brother is on fire again. outside it is white every branch is coated. 10/30 i became lucid halfway through the dream. first i wanted snow, then i wanted warm rain. i jumped off the porch and flew around the worst place i ever lived, it looked small and unoffensive. 10/28 no plane this time but i dreamed i frantically fumbled another wad of cash. odie's leash slipped from my hand and i yelled myself hoarse until i woke up. 10/19 there was no takeoff or landing, just a center seat in economy. i was smoothing and counting crumpled euro while my brother grasped desperately at them. 10/15 the plane was completely upside-down but all of the passengers didn't seem to mind. we reached cruise altitude before plummeting back to earth. 10/14 foggy & inconclusive 10/11 haven't had the teeth falling out dream in months. lately the plane makes it off the ground and falls back into the ocean the moment i start to feel at ease. 3/17 I forgot to sieve the blue celadon so when i arrived i had to hurry to get it done. I spilled some on the floor and thought about shamrock shakes. 3/16 there is nothing in the air but air today. it's beautiful and bright.

why i cried

  • the kindergartener hot line was too sweet
  • lovingkindness meditation made me too self compassionate
  • i was scared the cancer may have come back
  • she slammed a door
  • my dog is too pure
  • i cut my hand on broken glass
  • i thought about imperialism in the middle east
  • they wouldn't alter the marilyn monroe dress so she starved herself
  • i was so tired
  • i was still so tired
  • i looked at my reflection
  • i thought too much about being an immigrant

why i cried, 2

  • his tragic jaw
  • a wire snapped in my hands
  • a very hard pinch
  • she asked if i wanted to vent--i did, but i said no.
  • i don't know


  • odie greeted me when i woke up
  • the oat milk got foamy
  • the snow machine made soap foam
  • the old elevator was full of firewood