a list of lists i had not written c. 2017, abridged

• times i tried to believe in god
• friends i lost
• sentences in books i gasped at
• things i will never say to you
• things i should not say to you, but probably will
• times i flinched during sex
• places i wept
• times i felt like i looked like myself
• doors i walked through
• dates i counted down to
• secrets you shared with me
• prayers i was too afraid to pray