Hi, its nov 3 2024 and I have to say I rather like this font. how do I uncapitalise the i's? I never use capital letter unless I 'scream'/ 'yell' in text. usually when im really exited. do you need to know this? maybe, idk. i have been feeling rather down (at home) but hanging out with friends is great, I love them so much! I wish I had more friends, but I really appreciate the ones I have. sometimes I forget I haves friends and then I feel rather silly for forgetting. the sudden epiphany I have when I realize how many friends and family and loved ones I have is astounding. how does one forget I have so many people around me? why does my life feels so narrowed down to this house I live in when I have slept in so many beds in the past few months alone? I have this need to escape this house, or rather the person living with me in this house when all of this is not really their fault. or it is just as much their fault as it is the others. when does this cycle end? im so sick of it. I know they're hurting (too) but I really don't want to be near them. im so selfish for that. ooh they're calling me RIGHT NOW. how fitting... i don't pick up the phone, I don't want to. they're just downstairs. my jaws have been clenched for weeks and it hurts so much and I have a hard time relaxing it. why is it so hard for me to pick up my diary and write in it? I have all these stickers I can use. all these little doodles I can make. why is it so hard for me to get up and make those creative things I have been wanting to do for days, weeks, months, even years? my ass hurts. from sitting i have a 'testweek' coming week and I still havent studied. why am I like this? I have goals, I want to finish this course early and im actually behind. isn't that like the dumbest thing ever? like miss gurl get your shit togheter and study.