[06.04.2020] - monday had a terrible sleep woke at 7am and did 50 minutes of a IGTV workout and 20 minutes of shadowboxing by the canal didn't go back to the office to retrieve anything, we were given today to do it before the museum closes tomorrow the pool closed today and i didnt get the chance to dip in but saw children swimming in the cordoned area and called the condo management in a fit. how dare they?? [05.04.2020] - sunday family breakfast and had a long discussion about language as a cultural meme also talked about what language to raise my hypothetical children in. definitely chinese and french. not by me obviously, children sound like alot of work. i have a feeling i will be an overbearing mother whipping my children while sipping gin. took everything i owned out of drawers and closet and the store-room got rid of/set aside for donation about 30-40% of everything i owned, includ. my old kindle which had a horrible sticky back went for a swim at 11pm and cried about spot in the pool [04.04.2020] - saturday went for a night run, passed the jetty where i used to bring spot to and broke down puppy1 sent me this which helped: https://www.reddit.com/r/baww/comments/1m7exu/dogs_never_die/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf remembering what puppy2 said, we gave him the most comfortable, satisfying and loving life we could. that i should remember it as a celebration of a life he loved. [03.04.2020] - friday spot died today. he had a heart attack in the early morning and mummy called me at 9am after the vet left. i was with puppy2 and he sent me home. seeing him in his basket not moving, like he was asleep. the cremation service came and took him away. he was still soft and warm and i could still feel the roughness of his paw and his smell on my hands. we went to kranji for the cremation, it was only us and they put up a memorial note with a photo of him at the beach (it was taken when we first moved to the east coast), we walked through a field of daisies into a glass room where he laid in his basket. brother asked for flowers to be put on him and for his old army towel to be cremated together with spot. i felt terrible for him not being able to be there. to feel his warm body for the last time. they used to sleep together every night. he was the only one spot would be calm around. mummy pressed the button. i hated the idea of him going into the dark chamber alone, it felt like we were hurting him, leaving him in the dark alone. i had to stop myself from stopping the whole thing. i wanted to bring him home right now. i wondered about taxidermy. it happened too quickly. he wasn't even ill. i took him on long walks every night. he ate like a beast. he snored like one too. he had so much life for an old dog. [31.03.2020] accounting for my time means i have to be productive, i hope. - tuesday finally reset my kindle and loaded a few books in had a few video calls with the team but only bec we missed each other - monday worked out by the pool in the morning ran 6km walked 4km at 11pm got home at 2am dead on my feet met puppy1 after ages and talked for 2 hours on the jetty cleaned a tiny weeping wound in spot's ear taught my mother how to use post her closet online for sale food delivery came and daddy became stressed because he couldn't find a way to safely disinfect the vegetables.