dec 24, 2020 i've been thinking about my life in visual representations lately, this is largely due to the therapy i started a few weeks ago which has been going pretty well. i've been determining how i'm feeling by how the feeling would look if it were a sound wave. today was more of a sine wave, but teetering on square territory. finally making peace with some decisions i made almost a year ago. feels good, man. feels freeing. i'm hoping I can get back into painting again with these new ideas and ways of visualizing my feelings. dec 10, 2020 first night of Hanukkah! I do not feel real today. dec 9, 2020 i knew special fish was a ~special~ place, but my first day on here is proving to be very sweet and memorable. I'm working on a birthday present for a close friend of mine. I've recently gotten into weaving (frame loom) so I'm making an art piece for him. he hasn't texted me back in a few weeks and i understand because he's been very busy lately, so working on this present for him makes me feel close to him and i just hope he's doing alright. hopefully i will get to safely visit him for his birthday next week. currently listening to guilty by tommy mcgee. been feeling terribly sad lately. But also hopeful, as I know my body is a vessel for the soul that precedes it. This life is not the end for me, although it may seem like it. I thank my soul for choosing this particular life for me, no matter how hard it might get.