reading a book about memory that i will most certainly forget i never want to go to sleep, then i sleep for like 12 hours making love imagining you're two blades of grass in the wind i like/dislike but i def feel alive when every day is a new chapter of making peace with myself hyper-focused on decorating cakes today and my leg feels numb since everyone suddenly forgetting what dairy is when you tell them youre vegan do you eat mozzarella? i cant believe im not famous sometimes old people rave about manners then pick up the phone three times in the middle of a conversation to talk about their easter holiday memory is such a kink for some people the struggle to not just go to sleep in the middle of the day just when i think im getting ok i start dissociating with my life only recently i realised that theres ppl that really DO want to live. i always thought ppl scared of death dont mean it in the sense of not existing but rather pain and making someone sad harvesting potential in me makes me think of pickling. i am the cabbage head i love to love, there i said it if i went to jail i would write the most amazing book ever written

ways to cope

  • making time-consuming beverages
  • looking really faraway (not a metaphor)
  • filling my cheeks with air and blowing out loudly and slowly
  • laying under the bed
  • thinking about silence

things i ask myself on a daily basis

  • how hard is it to write a book
  • am i adopted but someone secretly did surgery on me so i look like my mum
  • should i cut my hair short
  • have i achieved nirvana

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