it's massage o'clock . i was gonna write something mean and bitchy but i'll save it for pen and paper in the morning. this weekend was weird. . . . not in the mood to do anything today. insha'Allah tomorrow is better. . last night i dreamt that i was pregnant and got covid. i think i was dating a woman lmao. very entertaining dream, felt like a thriller with the covid infection, plus i didn't feel ready to have a kid so everything was stressy. i woke up past 10 am relieved to not be pregnant or infected with covid. this dream felt very real. 🐢 over the weekend i was ovulating which is probably obvious in my journal from those days. if i were to raise a child i think i'd prefer to do so in canada, the midwest's motherland. or maybe minnesota if my spouse and i are wealthy enough. bay area would be an interesting option if the tech bubble finally bursts. california is the midwest's cousin imho. oh, and i have been meaning to say: maison margiela's "lazy sunday morning" fragrance would be great if it weren't for the pear and patchouli notes 🤢 . . . tonight's agenda: bath, face routine, fragrance routine, sleep and dream of being a housewife! tonight's scent: sandalwood and after 8, unnamed body spritz, chanel paris - venise lotion, oriza l. legrand muguet fleuri. . i am 36, feel 45, and look my age or probably younger. i treated myself to the following today: black sesame latte, nars blush in the shade "orgasm rush," fig cheesecake homemade ice cream (at a place, not by me), internet phone book, and pineapple kombucha. today's scent is sudani sandalwood oil, unnamed body spritz, le labo rose 31, and kilian love don't be shy eau fraiche. i am running out of my grandfather's fragrances but i do have extra sandalwood oil stashed in my closet. i want to remake two of his fragrances but will need my uncles to tell me more about their compositions. their factory in omdurman has been looted and destroyed by the thugs who now occupy the country and my mom looks at me like i'm on acid when i ask if the perfumes were for sure destroyed or if they are somehow intact (why would the military and rsf care about that stuff?). my grandfather's fragrances smell nothing like the overpriced western scents that i own and i need to find a way to reproduce them. i always wear one of them (or his sandalwood oil) as a base under my other fragrances and can't picture not doing that anymore. if i'm lucky i'll find more bottles in my mom's house, but that's unlikely because my mom goes through perfume like water & none of us have been to sudan in a while. my grandfather's fragrances are similar in composition (i think) to karl lagerfeld's original chloe edt from the '70s. they were created around the same time and have a similar vibe. it used to be that you could find that old chloe fragrance in nordstrom rack for like 15 bucks, but i don't think that's the case anymore. it's sold on ebay nowadays for $150. . . . piano sleep =) . i journaled on paper a lot this weekend and wrote some sappy things that i won't include here. i remembered things that made me smile. . . . in need of a puzzle pal i started doing the artist's way activities yesterday and today. excited ~ i see that someone kerned the type on swag II