5.5.2026: 🎶 5.4.2026: missing my dad! 5.3.2026: yesterday i got lunch at my favorite philly restaurant, a kazakh place just a few blocks away from me. i caught up with the owners and learned that they are closing the restaurant and moving back to kazakhstan next month, which is also when i'm moving out of philly. they opened the restaurant around the time that i moved here and it's the first place i visited after moving into my apartment. very interesting how things work, feels like the universe is sending us off for a good reason subhan Allah. a handful of the dishes at this restaurant remind me of my mom's cooking, and the owners have told me interesting stories about kazakhstan that make me wanna visit. they once hosted a concert that i didn't know about, just went to the restaurant for dinner and got to see this incredible performance by a woman wearing a beautiful dress and playing a large guitar-like instrument. they told me about how singers will battle each other, similar to freestyle battles. and they gave me kazakh chocolate before i left. good times lol today was nice as well alhamdulillah. i stand by what i wrote here once, more people should be muslim -- we know how to treat ppl right!! 5.2.2026: slept in for the first time in forever. 4.29.2026: i am now using an electric toothbrush that my arizona dentist sold to me a few weeks before my dad died. i've had it all this time, unboxed in my closet, and now it's in use. i know why i took my time with it; has less to do with the toothbrush and more to do with everything else that was going on at that time. the toothbrush is fine, a little aggressive imo and for some reason it is capable of connecting to my phone via bluetooth. not sure why that is necessary, but there are a lot of things (and people) that don't make sense to me. rather than try to make sense of them, i might come up with a list of things that i can do that won't depress me! 4.24.2026: glad it's friday. thinking of the effort it has taken to manage certain things and try to make them work. i'm looking forward to less effort (finally), less sadness, less explaining things to no end, less loneliness, etc. i'm tired and not always sleeping enough, but i know that better experiences are ahead iA.