lovelag

hello ! let’s be friends ! i miss u ! please send me mail ! __,._ / _ \ lovelag@protonmail.com | 6 \ \ oo \___/ .|__|| _,..="^ . , " , \ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ____ ____ ____ ;.__________________/ "the lost glove is happy" 05.20 had some dreams, then i didn't anymore last night was restless sheet triangle in my knee did i have coffee too late? or was it something more sinister there was someone in my room, saw my roommate naked in the shower with another, also naked. came back and cleaned an ingrown toenail for a beautiful girl do dreams have to mean anything? 05.16 he is my teacher i say i don't understand and he looks concerned but has nothing to say. i did miserably on the test. doesn't matter that my dream math was wrong, the feeling was everything and i woke up afraid, like am i going to fail again, this time real 05.03 covers on the brain crying again looking in the mirror in a forward fold hands tense the skin now kiss! the sides of flat plane bent convex now and the flesh bubbles un-undoable skin hanging in the courtyard meat waiting in the sun burnt brown and crisp and ruined 04.30 sometimes i am so confused, sometimes it's kind of all in your head and then it gets out of there spills out but you have to put it back rein it in i made brownies today and i have friends! i have friends! i swear 04.29 freaking out too much am counting chickens if it feels real get real 04.23 made crackers today hope i didnt use all the starter ive been watching movies and getting tired 04.14 i went away for a while, cities ancient and so young alive and breathing, stray dogs asked gentle for my hand it was cold and it rained there, and so it was last night too 03.06 talked2 baby me babied me, bbbb making food carrot salad 03.02 covers on the brain cinnamon rolls in the oven more tomorrow, sappy music in the netflix show and ugly ducts in my eyes 02.26 i was crying again looking in the mirror in a forward fold hands tense the skin they dont know you 02.18 third eye third eye focus close inside inside 02.17 i was crying because i needed it i keep thinking of you, i saw someone who looked like you and i thought of you and i always do 01.16 keep feeling like crying happy and sad cant read out loud 12.14 i miss you i miss you i barely even ever knew you i wish i had gone back, selfish me i stayed here for reasons i thought were right something about politics something about action too bad i will never go back to the place i was born no reason anymore 11.29 did you know you can’t delete blocks on are.na does that mean they own everything you put on there? like i bet they would be nice about taking something off that was really harmful but it’s also kind of stressful knowing once i put something on there i won’t ever be able to get it off not that it’s different anywhere else you can’t ever fully delete your facebook which is cool that means there’s ancient content online from when i was like 10 i’ll be here forever <3 11.23 went on tumblr again, i deleted ig and twitter from my phone so im mostly on are.na now but i go on twitter for desktop anyways. checking all my old stuff again i was so sad for so long lmao working hospice made me so emotional and sad all the time theres so many posts about dead and dying only so much suffering one person can volunteer to hold 10.07 wow it's been so so so long and every time i get on here i say the same exact thing hit 90 days at new job, got a raise at new job gonna hike for four days gonna draw a postcard 07.26 i never really put things on here anymore, guess i am swimming but still here for sure and still with eyes open 05.31 so many things keep happening things are good and bad at the same time i miss everyone i miss and havent met

a list of songs updated 03/20

  • https://youtu.be/JiwpG284QPk?si=7bbrfiWXs71eDIAL (bladee, ecco2k, thaiboy digital - tl;dr)
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AE1lZ_hF0M (the feelies - slipping (into something))
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6YRAUKczyw (steve fisher - anything adrianne lenker cover)
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvIHMFwYwzg (tigers jaw - spirit desire)
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReuP3QYeCsY (wilco - candy floss)

bevs

  • coffee (cold brew)
  • coffee (pour over)
  • coffee (instant)
  • black tea
  • pedialyte
  • borjomi
  • nectar
  • broth
  • topo

thoughts atm

  • what i have been baking :
  • cinnamon rolls, soft breads, crusty breads
  • //
  • date of last cry :
  • last tuesday i watched Mommy (2014)

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