hello ! let’s be friends ! i miss u ! please send me mail ! __,._ / _ \ | 6 \ \ oo \___/ .|__|| _,..="^ . , " , \ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ____ ____ ____ ;.__________________/ "the lost glove is happy" 10.01 getting stabbed today getting stabbed in the stomach with friends! might watch suspiria 9.30 sometimes i forget then i remember again thank you girbaud pants history lets use mushrooms for color i want to be your shirt 9.28 i want to go to sleep i want to stop this happens every day 9.27 practice practicer pet petter dead thing toucher decomposer like a mushroom growing eating endocannabinoid receptor something 9.26 things are okay im nearly napping eyelids kiss everything a part of love no mushroom talk today just playing pet 9.25 playing today in the back yard kiss good night purple is joy purple is sad he said does she eat food with a fork maybe today ill show him 9.23 she had polio i ate a sandwich im running im running im going so fast i wanna dye my clothes before it's too late 9.22 da baby kiss kiss im in orange scrubs banana bread breakfast mwah mwah evil cramps cold coffee ouch sitting in the hot car waiting to bake 9.21 rookie of the freaking year just like my boss im a wagie babie im eating costco cake im saying thank you for the folgers in the break room im kissing ass im shaking hands 9.20 good morning, good morning, good morning it's afternoon i'm going to write a bridge today i'm going to write a chorus also if i can help it, if i can stomach it i am queasy, i want to buy some nice jam 9.19 wrote a new song yesterday gonna text her say i hope that we can be in the same place soon without pain. i am drinking one of the worse cappucinos of my life i knew itd be bad when i ordered it and the guy asked what size cappucinos are only supposed to come in one size so why do i have a 12oz cup in front of me full of bubbly frothy milk i feel like gordon ramsey 9.18 zine fest day ate an expensive burrito yesterday walked in the sun w my love, love the air in the apple orchard love on the pretty hills in the country when we listened to the byrds on the way back and it was so loud and so good 9.15 hes singing crazy train im doing better today, feeling much more ok can breathe through my nose again need to do work stuff lol 9.14 im watching seinfeld im having body aches how much more can i take i was fine earlier kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss im so stuffy 9.13 im eating granola by the fistful im coughing im late on work i cant get friday off 9.12 why do i like that song? is a good question to ask your self but also wrong how could you know just why? sing along, hear it in your voice 9.11 almost bought the salem commemorative shirt love aint dead Baby it's just lurkin push the urges down, turn them into 9.10 biscuit i dont give a hell or a frick watching skins 9.09 iced americano iced americano milk bread yesterday i ate too much but i was pleased 9.08 i have a head ache my coworker likes greet death too so how are you feeling 9.06 there's only one street in this town and it goes from mine to yours thinking about archives thinking about baking bread thinking about how ive been sweating lately, wet and smooth like an iced glass in the sun 9.05 im the car on the shoulder between the highway and the on-ramp, hazards blinking soft on the hottest day of the year i keep bleeding in my dreams 9.04 ah it’s been a minute, sorry for my absence i was making peach crumble i was listening to girls when my friend played his favorite song and it made my other friend cry sometimes u call me love sometimes u leave early in the morning sometimes u stick out ur hand while walking so i can hold on to ur fingers sticky like sugar residue left on your clothes 9.01 good morning good fall im working hard im gritting my little teeth my lips are going to fall off i feel like my tongue has a little tear in it and my lymph nodes are swollen 8.31 gonnam ake a cobbler gonna cobble cobble listening to israeli rock reading u the names they're singing about the rhythm and how it's in your blood 8.30 i didnt even notice i spent so much time away i missed you! i missed you! happy ghibli tears pooling i keep crying, i love crying again 8.26 how do you feel? good, good good, good good good good good great holding back from baking bread holding hands with my phone 8.25 good morning, good morning good mail day today i will today i will students will be able to 8.24 back at work silly rabbit itchy nose would you hold me, if i asked? 8.23 hate hate despise being sick but the worst part is having other people do my work and having to talk like im not sick but i know im sick and if i was out in the field my patients would get sick maybe because im kind of sick like only a little but like enough 8.22 listening to the Music of my People making Redacted bread new shoes new shoes if u want one imma get ten 8.19 cake day cake day sponge cake snake day earrings w a stapler little piece of paper 8.18 sleep on the floor dream about me something something star 99 yesterday polka dot tomorrow kiss kiss kiss kiss light blue cars bright pink test print ugly little scraps i made into a booklet will you hold my hand time doesn't feel real, nothing does 8.16 how many times a day will i look at my window gaze at my phone lay myself down how do you know what you have dreamed what do you make of these memories 8.15 i just never know where to stand, that's all i'm comfortable outside of that <3 8.14 the wormwood plant grows unknowing im watching it im walking by it caught my eye ill take a little piece so soft the leaves between my fingers in my hands and on the skin between my jaw and neck and in my nose and mouth you are the smell that climbs my back and sits on my shoulder 8.13 something like that sometimes things are kind of weird and then i make a little ugly little shirt and i am ok i really should buy an iron 8.12 my birthday is a week away, and a week away i will be far away im happy im glowing im eating lots of veg and im watching girls again for clarity 8.11 reading berserk again baking bread again having my coffee in the morning looking back at everything again you could put your heart down and it would still beat 8.10 he said youre my buddy i said youre my buddy too sometimes i have no hope but to say things back to you when i dont have anything good left to contribute an echo takes my voice and won't let go 8.09 time only goes one way everything is everything and ending 8.08 i dont know how many shots they put into this iced americano but it seems like a lot things are fine "postcard crumpled in my mailbox weeks ago i thought it’d come and over anger pain and sorrow i gave up until by act of god or by the post, it arrived two blank, wet eyes im glad you’re alive" 8.07 as often as i can as often as i can im goofy but just a little bit in the best way in the most secret and okay way am i george or elaine 8.06 a short life of trouble gonna walk around i wanted to wear cowboy boots but for some reason they are not comfy for walking so docs it is 8.05 when he doesnt know what tradcath is :') best friends drenched in sweat again im gonna eat the croissaint of my life tomorrow 8.04 bladee voice kill kill kill im being gentle im holding hands im kissing babies im petting dogs hes training navy seals hes sealing navy trains hes stealing navy trains hes singing crazy train baby im at peace 8.03 heart eyes i am singing i am walking recording putting words2 music

words 4u

  • chewed up food sits in my chest as i await my time of death
  • i sit and spew and sit some more, and though i'm scared, i’m always bored
  • the food moves down though it moves slow, and in my heart the thick blood flows
  • the muscle works itself to pain, the cycle will repeat again

a list of songs updated 03/20

  • (bladee - sleepwalk to the jeweler)
  • (peel dream magazine - verfremdungseffekt)
  • (they are gutting a body of water - houseplant/wonserful1)
  • (mj lenderman - you have bought yourself a boat)
  • (evergreen - these last days 7") (three songs technically)
  • (calm - s/t 12") (six songs technically)


  • coffee (cold brew)
  • coffee (pour over)
  • coffee (instant)
  • black tea
  • pedialyte
  • borjomi
  • nectar
  • broth
  • topo

thoughts atm

  • what i have been baking :
  • sweet brown bread, galettes, no knead white bread with herbs and then with figs and olives
  • //
  • date of last cry :
  • 8/30/22 (friend sent me an old recording of us playing a song together)
  • //
  • even more thoughts :
  • a very very long stairway leads to a star

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